I didn’t get on the road until about noon today. I decided I couldn’t not go say goodbye to my sister. There were more people driving than I expected, all defying the electronic signs requesting we don’t do what we’re doing.
The service center I stopped to re-fuel at on the I-80 toll road was quiet though. Signs requested standing 6 ft apart, but there wasn’t anyone to really keep your distance from. The food court was closed, and all that was available were gas station snacks at this market:
I grabbed some nuts and went on my way.
I arrived and saw my sister tonight. It’s worse than I expected. She’s skin and bone and awake for just very short stints. When she is awake and trying to talk there are only flashes of lucidity.
I sat with her for awhile and we had some short, funny conversations. At one point she propped herself up, I asked if she needed something, and she said she was going to “slit my throat open and crawl inside me to stay warm… like on those shows.”
I said, “Oh yeah, those survival shows. You know, if I was Ryan sitting here (our brother) I’d expect you to say that, but come on Rach, it’s me!”.
She laughed and said my mom would “have a canary” if she knew I was talking about Ryan that way.
It was an odd conversation, not because of the content, but because it was hard to tell if/when she was understanding what she was saying.
But there were clearer moments. I told her how happy I was that I got to visit her a couple months ago and how it was a good visit. She agreed and said she wishes we could have a better one.
We won’t get that chance.
The hotel is eerily quiet.