Category: Personal

Kaitlin and I have a way of keeping things interesting.

As early as mid-December 2021 we had convinced ourselves that we had come to terms with the idea that we would be lifelong Michiganders. The financial stresses of trying to make the move to California had gotten to me long before that date. I had been unraveling. And while Kaitlin was doing her best to convince me that she could truly be happy in Troy, and while I largely believed her, I knew she’d be far happier in California.

But fast forward two weeks toward the end of 2021 and everything changed. I sat in the chair I’m currently sitting in as I type this, my mind racing, knowing what we had to do. It’s all Kaitlin and I could talk about as we visited her family here in SoCal for a month, the first visit since COVID. As we walked Pippa each day, we schemed.

How much could we afford? By when? What’s on the market? What would this plan look like? Could we live with her folks while we house hunted?

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Ryder, yesterday we had a Batman themed birthday party, at your request, to celebrate you turning four. You were in heaven, and I’m sitting here still trying to process how it’s possible that you’re just NOW turning four. It seems like you should have reached this milestone 18 months ago.

Your mom will say you’re “advanced” for your age. I don’t like the connotation or social pressures that word comes with, but you clearly are beyond your years. You process concepts, ideas, really everything far better than any kids I’ve seen your age. You articulate how you feel, think, etc. incredibly well. And then of course you’re big for your age too.

It comes in handy. We’ve been lying about your age for junior ninja class for the last two or three months since their required minimum is four years old. And you understand enough to know to play along when there. You are THRILLED to be going to ninja class now and it’s been great for you.

You generally shy away from physical activity unless it’s wrestling. You don’t like to walk long distances or do anything that resembles exercise. You’d prefer lounging and enjoying some snacks. But you seem to be turning a corner on that and we’re doing long walks to the park (and back) with increasingly less resistance on your part.

You are a handful. And that’s putting it lightly. You are non-stop energy, always wanting to do something, demanding attention. You never stop talking and you have one volume – extra loud! You’re constantly inventing “games” we all have to partake in. They often include some variation of me holding you horizontally and chasing your brother around the yard. Just about every game has some sort of chasing element.

You don’t take no for an answer. Like ever. Your mom is better at denying your insane requests but you’ve had me wrapped around your finger for at least the last six months, oftentimes busting out the irresistible “cute face”. I can’t help saying yes to you. Maybe it’s because you’re just too damn cute, or perhaps I’m trying to make up for the first 12-18 months where we weren’t super connected. I don’t know, but I’m enjoying it.

You love HARD. Bear hugs, big kisses, and snuggles are non-stop. I am taking them all because I don’t know how long they will last. I carry you upstairs, upon your request, every night for bedtime. I love that too. On my nights to put you down I sing your songs, hang out for a bit, and then give you a kiss goodnight when you, like clockwork, ask for “just one more minute”. You turn toward me, jam your face into mine, and throw that big chunky arm across the side of my face. There’s nothing more pure and sweet than those couple minutes we spend like that.

You LOVE your brother and look up to him a great deal. You need his approval on nearly every decision you make. You’ve gotten a lot better with him this year. Before, you were too aggressive and physical which pushed him away most times. But you’ve learned how to temper that a bit and you two are jiving much better these days. It will only continue to improve, I hope.

You know how to command a room. Your mom and I agree you could talk anyone into just about anything. I’m so curious where that’s going to lead you. Your energy is contagious. Thank you for being you, big guy. I love you so damn much. Happy 4!

After a couple nights in Mexico City Kaitlin and I headed off on the 3.5 hour journey to San Miguel de Allende. I had created a scene in my head of what this town would be like. Quaint, quiet, authentic and beautiful were the adjectives that dominated my vision.

But as we neared the town, I knew I was wrong. Billboards started popping up for real estate in San Miguel, things to do, etc. My hopes of landing in something similar to the dilapidated (but charming) towns we’d passed along the way were crushed.

Here are some photos from the couple days we were in San Miguel:

I tried to find the words to describe San Miguel while we were there. I compared it to Venice in the sense that it feels like it still has that old world charm but it’s simply been overrun with tourism and lacks any real authenticity below the surface.

San Miguel was definitely touristy but I’d say 80% of the tourists were Mexico natives with the rest being Americans, English, and European.

There really wasn’t much to do there. We walked and saw the town a lot but ultimately it’s dining, shopping, and going out at night. There are some vineyards and hot springs in the area, but we didn’t make it to either. We simply explored and hung out for the two short days we were there.

I don’t see myself likely to go back. I much prefer areas that don’t feel so touristy and where I’m unlikely to see other Americans 🙂

Finding vegan-friendly food was definitely easier in San Miguel than in Mexico City. And while finding someone that speaks English wasn’t exactly common, it wasn’t tough to find establishments that had staff that were fluent.

Ultimately, I can see the appeal of San Miguel but I’d like something more off the beaten path.

Kaitlin and I left for our first vacation since Tucker was born, six years ago, on the 30th. I’m currently writing from the airport in Mexico City, waiting to board our (new) flight. We missed our initial (oof).

The trip was initially planned around Kaitlin’s friend that was getting married in San Miguel de Allende. The wedding was cancelled for what seems to be same family issues about traveling to Mexico, COVID, yada yada. I hear the nuptials took place in the states in a more intimate setting.

But we were going regardless. Six years is a long time to wait for a solo vacation free from kids. And my mom was coming up from Florida to watch the mongrels for five days (thanks, Mom!!!).

Life has been busy, so beyond hotels and a car rental we’d done absolutely zero research or planning for the trip. It didn’t matter really but there were some things that caught us off guard.

The big one was finding vegan friendly eats in Mexico City. Usually Mexican food is easy for us. Rice, beans, veggies… no problem. Apparently veggies aren’t prolific here and rice and beans don’t seem to be the staple Americans assume they are in Mexico.

The other surprise was the language barrier. Very few people spoke much, if any, English. Luckily Kaitlin has a great memory and was able to tap into some 10 years of middle school and high school Spanish classes that she didn’t pay much attention in. It was enough to get us by along with us picking up a few things here and there and leaning on Google translate when absolutely necessary.

Combine the lack of vegan options and the language barrier and finding suitable food was tough. But when we did it was fantastic. Definitely some of the best Mexican food we’ve ever had.

After two days in Mexico City we drove 3.5 hours across the countryside in our (manual transmission) rental car to San Miguel de Allende for two more days before heading back to Mexico City for our last night. I’ll write about San Miguel tomorrow. It was an interesting town but ultimately not for me.

We’ve been in the airport for about seven hours now. Our flight leaves in another two. Apparently, if you don’t check in at least an hour before your flight here it is “closed”.

That was fun.

So instead of going through Atlanta and then home to Detroit by 10:30pm today we’ll be flying to JFK, having to get our butts to the Newark airport, and then taking the 6am flight to Detroit to arrive home tomorrow morning around 7:30am.

Then we need to scramble and get to a loan closing for our latest rental by 11am.

Life is nuts.

I spent Friday through Sunday evening alone with Tucker and Ryder. I’ve never cared for them around the clock like that, so I wasn’t sure how I’d do.

It was a blast. It was also exhausting.

It helped that we kept busy. We had a birthday party at a farm on Saturday, managed to hit the zoo on Sunday despite the rain, and caught “Peter Rabbit 2: The Runaway” at the theatre. In hindsight, I guess we had a very animal themed weekend.

I ended the weekend feeling closer to the boys. It’s funny what an intense 48 hours can do. I also felt some relief in knowing that I can handle playing mom when needed.

The best part is that it wasn’t nearly as difficult of a weekend as I anticipated. Part of that, again, I attribute to just staying busy. But I’ve been reflecting on why else it was relatively easy. A big part, in my opinion, was the fact that there was only one authority figure in the house. It’s not that Kaitlin and I contradict one another, but it does sometimes feel like we’re tripping over each other like two people trying to cook at the same time in a small kitchen.

I can’t say I have a new found respect for what Kaitlin does day in and day out. But that’s simply because I already know how hard it is. I’ve worked from home since before Tucker was born, so I have a front row seat to the trials of being a full-time mom. And while I wouldn’t want to do it full-time, I’m grateful for the past 48 hours and happy to help Kaitlin get an emotional reboot that was badly needed.

We had our babysitter schedule to relieve us for a few hours today. Yes, we started doing that again.

Kaitlin and I took off to a house we’re finishing up a light rehab on next week. We had to measure space for appliances and just check out overall progress. My guys cracked open a locked door in the basement that we’d assumed was a small closet. Turns out it was at least a 200 square foot room that was being used as an old grow room (yes, weed).

It’s a nasty mess, and another one of those things you just don’t plan for. Less learned… if there’s a lock on a door, get it open and find out what’s behind it ASAP!

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Ryder, I can’t believe you’re two. Not because the time seems to have gone by so fast. It has. But more so because it feels like you’ve been at least two for the past six months.

Your vocabulary is insane. You’ve been stringing sentences together effortlessly for awhile now, and I’m constantly shocked at what comes out of your mouth. I love it.

You are a brute. You must be the size of an average three-year-old. You know how to use your size to your advantage, but you’re also a big sweetheart.

My absolute favorite latest thing is you jumping into my arms whispering “protect me… protect me” and giving me huge snuggles. This is originated a few weeks back when I took you to the park alone, you heard something in the distance (and later the rustling of a tree we were playing underneath), and you wanted me to pick you up. I did, and I told you I’d protect you.

I don’t get the cuddles you give your mom, so I savor these moments when I do.

You love to bust into my office, climb onto my chair, put on my head phones and start mashing on my keyboard, exclaiming you’re working. You are hilarious and a complete joy.

You can throw some epic fits, and we butt heads from time to time. I love that you don’t back down. I love that the fits and rage can end as quickly as they started. You don’t seem to hold grudges; that will serve you well in life.

You are social, a complete extrovert. It’s amazing how quickly we recognized that.

We need to spend more time alone like we did that day at the park. It felt good. I had the chance to bond with your brother when you were born while mom was laid out after the c-section for awhile. I haven’t had that time with you. I need to make it. I will.

Happy birthday, my man!